Today, I am celebrating because TakingCareofGrandma has been live for TWO years!
During the entire month of May, we will be celebrating the TCG blogiversary and invading timelines and twitter feeds with real life experiences of family caregivers.
[Read more…]Or, the #1 question I get asked as my grandma’s caregiver
[Read more…]Next month, right here at TakingCareofGrandma.com, I will be celebrating my second year of blogging with a month-long blog party with the goal of bringing to millennial caregiving.
We have some awesome celebrity guests who will be sharing their stories on my blogiversary! These caregiving all stars just happen to be millennials. I will introduce you to them over the coming weeks.
BUT WAIT, there’s more!
In addition to the motivating stories and free game from our millennial caregiving all stars, I have some great gifts for you to download, completely free, including:
In honor of the TCG Blogiversary, for the month of May ONLY, you can download Head Caregiver in Charge: The Complete Handbook COMPLETELY FREE and get your caregiving business in order so you can get back to your life.
The Handbook will include all the tools you need to hire and manage a team of caregivers to help you care for your loved one. Learn more at
http://rachelh15.sg-host.com/head-caregiver-in-charge-the-complete-handbook/
One of my life mottos is When in doubt, make a spreadsheet.
I created this tool when I was thinking about hiring help and submitting our long term care insurance claim to see how much I could pay my grandma’s caregivers and how long it would be sustainable. I am offering this tool to you completely free during the month of May for my blogiversary.
PLUS
If you’re like me, music is your life source. During the month of my blogiversary, I will have very special playlists for you. The #ACTIVATED playlist will pump you up in the mornings or whenever you need a boost, and the chill TF out playlist will help you calm down when you’re having a meltdown or want to wind down after a long day.
No party would be complete without performances!!!
In concert (get it?! haha) with my blogiversary, we will have kick-ass #Tunesday peformances, including:
Check out the complete schedule below!
| Sun | Mon | Tues | Weds | Thurs. | Fri | Sat |
| 1 TCG Blogiversary KICKOFF One year of blogging Memorable Moments | 2 #THANKFUL THURSDAY | 3 Party favor Friday HCIC Handbook Release | 4 | |||
| 5 | 6 | 7 #TunesDay Barbara & Rachel Duet debut | 8 One yearof blogging Victories | 9 #THANKFUL THURSDAY | 10 Party favor Friday #ACTIVATED Playlist | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 One yearof blogging Challenges | 16 #THANKFUL THURSDAY | 17 Party favor Friday LTC Calculator | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 #TunesDay TCG Rap premiere | 22 | 23 TCG Blogiversary BLOG PARTY Featuring Millennial Caregiving Allstars | 24 Party Favor Friday Chill TF Out Playlist | 25 |
| 26 | 27 Memorial Day | 28 #TunesDay Delivering Happiness Car Karaoke | 29 One year of blogging Looking forward | 30 #THANKFUL THURSDAY | 31 | |
Disclaimer: As always, due to complexity, the calendar is just a guide. I am, after all, a family caregiver 😘
Tell me what you’re looking forward to most in the comments!
Next, we will hear words of wisdom from our featured guests for current and future caregivers. Stick with us for the TCG Blogiversary!
Next, we will hear from our featured guests about what self care looks like for them and tips and tricks that have helped them maintain their sanity. Stick with us for the TCG Blogiversary!
Next, we will hear from our featured guests about blessings and challenges… and taking the good with the bad. Stick with us for the TCG Blogiversary!
At my grandma’s church, people are constantly walking up to us and asking me if I’m “the Granddaughter.” Every time I hear them say “the granddaughter,” I think of The Godfather and I laugh.
At first, I was kind of irritated at the fact that I didn’t have a name and people were referring to me in this manner. Then, I realized that I have built a reputation for myself like the Godfather. Picture The Godfather in your head. It is an image that evokes fear and reverence. The Godfather is a term of endearment for the boss, it commands respect and affection.
While some aspects of the mob may be seen as less than reputable, I think we can all agree that when we think of the mafia, one of the key terms that comes to mind is family.
True dons and doñas take grief from no man. They do what they have to do for the best of the family. They will go to war over their loved ones. This means exhibiting control and exercising discipline and executing smart social plays.
When I am feeling the heat from other people who don’t understand what we’re going through, I remember I am THE GRANDDAUGHTER, and I recognize myself as the boss and authority in my caregiving journey. I do not sell myself short and recognize my important role in my family and community.
In 2007, the Italian police found what they believed to be the Ten Commandments of the Mafia (link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7086716.stm). Even the mob recognized the value of having a code to live by. I think we can learn a few things from the mob.
So, without further ado, I present to you THE GRANDDAUGHTER’S Commandments.
| THE GRANDDAUGHTER’S COMMANDMENTS | THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE MAFIA |
| 1. I will use my social capital to help my family get ahead in life. I will map out and utilize the connections I have with the people in my ‘family’ to help us get what we needs.
I will differentiate between my associates (people who are connected but have not been initiated into the family) and my administration (the close connections you have around my caree’s support) – so I know whom I can call on and when and what kinds of conversations to have with them. When I need something that my immediately ‘family’ can’t provide, I will to fig who is a ‘friend of mine’ – someone that we are connected to that can help us before picking names out of the yellow pages or relying on publicly funded resources in limited supply.
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1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
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| 2. I will be loyal to my ‘administration’ – that is, those who make my everydays possible.
I will appoint and nurture my relationship with my ‘consigliere’ (the boss’s advisor). I will make sure my consigliere should be a ‘stand-up guy’ (or gal). I will always have their back like they have mine. I will take care of them and ‘vouch for’ them when they need me.
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2. Never look at the wives of friends.
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| 3. No one should take any action ‘off the record’ in benefit of or on the behalf of Grandma without consulting with the Granddaughter, even if Grandma begs them not to tell her.
Does anyone do anything in the mob without the Godfather knowing about it? I think not. It is important to always inform the caregiver when you are not ‘made’ (that is closely tied to the family) or you do not have explicit instructions or are unsure of standard protocol. Those who observe this commandment will be held in high favor by the Doña (AKA The Granddaughter).
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3. Never be seen with cops.
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| 4. I will not push myself so hard I need to drink (or rely on unhealthy habits).
I will remember self-care and practice it faithfully. I will find what I love to do so I’m ready to unwind when the time comes, and I will share in these activities with my caree when appropriate. I will not feel guilty for taking time for myself. I will repeat out loud: It’s business, it’s not personal.
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4. Don’t go to pubs and clubs.
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| 5. I will always put my family first. I will always remember there is nothing more important in life than the people I care about and who care about me.
Family caregiving is a 24/7/365 job. I will always be prepared for the call to provide care and have a plan B when I am engaging in self-care so that I can continue to enjoy myself.
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5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty – even if your wife’s about to give birth.
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| 6. I will always follow through with my word.
If I say I’m going to do something and I don’t do it, I can’t be made when I look like a ‘cafone.’
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6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.
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| 7. I will recognize that I might be the don, but my caree is the boss.
Carees must be treated with respect and dignity after a lifetime of experiences. Some of the loved ones we’re responsible for made our making our measly existences on earth possible. I will give them the honor they deserve.
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7. Wives must be treated with respect.
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| 8. I will always be bold and speak my mind. I know best what I need or how to help myself and my caree.
I will never be afraid to ‘hit the mattress’ with a professional over the quality of life of my caree or my needs, but I will always do it in a respectfully. I will pull them aside to ‘take a walk’ and help them understand my point of view or schedule a ‘sit-down’ to squash the ‘beef.’ I will ‘give a pass’ to offenders when they’ve crossed me and we have squashed our beefs.
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8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
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| 9. I will never use my own resources if my caree has their own ‘dough.’
I still have to live, today, and when you are no longer providing care.
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9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
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10. I will not open our ‘books’ to ‘Cosa Nostra’ to people whose values don’t align with ours, toxic relationships, and folks who are otherwise barriers to our good lives.
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10. People who can’t be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn’t hold to moral values. |
I got my gangster terminology from the Mobspeak Glossary found at http://aman.members.sonic.net/mobspeak.html
